!!!!!!! Mr. MISANTHROPIC !!!!!

On the BIKEMAN site

I stuffed it in the 2/3 road race at Monson yesterday. I hit a giant pothole that appeared out of nowhere and the next thing I knew, I was flying down the road on my back at 30mph. I have to say the road rash is pretty bad this time. I saw a flash of bone on my elbow before the blood started gushing out. My backside looks like someone took a belt sander to it. I would take a picture of it, but I am not double jointed. If you don’t believe me, have a gander at the jersey I was wearing…

Poor Adam Sullivan from Boston Scientific and Caster’s was behind me, so he got taken down too in glorious fashion. I think he’s kinda mad at me now…I wonder if I should buy him some beer?

My road bike is a complete mess. This might be the end of road season for me…

Actually, I’m not.

But some people said I was. This morning I got called a “fag” twice on my tune-up ride out to Seekonk. Once by some a gentleman in a beater Honda trying to impress his buddy (what are they doing up at 6:30am anyway?), and once on my way back, by an obese 14-year old boy in the EashProv projects.

But don’t you fret, the middle fingers were in full aloft this fine morn.

Dear Mr. Misanthropic-

My lost box of bike shorts mysteriously showed up at my house last night, all with new chamois and some with new bib tops added.

Also - I rode my mountain bike last night. At the end of the ride, my arms were bloody and my legs are bruised.

So there you go - everything is back to normal!

This Saturday is my first 2/3 race on the road up at Monson. Please wish me 4800 feet of climbing luck!

Your pal,

Red Beard the Pirate

I believe Reba Macintyre is waiting for me at my house, ready for a ride in the dirt. That means that all bikes in the quiver will soon be off the injured list.

So far, here’s the list of non-consumable stuff I’ve broken, clapped out or lost this year (counting last cross season):

- ARAYA rear wheel (donkeyed rim and broken spokes)
- Ritchey front wheel (donkeyed and dented rim)
- ALX rear wheel (donkeyed rim)
- FSA rear wheel (my worn down brake shoes “lathed” a nice deep gouge into the rim, not sure if its safe to use)
- DT Swiss hubs (seized up)
- road handlebars (sheared in half)
- road stem (cracked)
- MTB brake lever
- Salsa locking MTB grip
- RockShox Reba 29er forks
- set of aero bars (stripped out bolt-hole threads)
- every pair of cycling shorts I own
- every pair of gloves I own
- 1 longsleeve BIKEMAN jersey bit the dust
- the “Big Air” I lost at the Glocester Grind when I ran over Chuck
- all my blinkie lights and a multitool that I dropped somewhere when my saddle bag was open

For some reason, my wife does not find this humorous.

I hope my care packages show up today from BIKEMAN. I really need to get my droopy-bars TT bike fixed for next week’s Seekonk throw-down. I also would love it if my fucking RockShox Rebas could get fixed soon, I am jonesing for some dirt action. I have all this superman fitness and nothing to do with it! My emaciated limbs haven’t seen a bruise in almost a month!

Maybe someday my Reba shocks that I destroyed will show up at my doorstep from the RockShox Warranty Center, and I can ride and race in the woods again.

Maybe my big box of bike shorts that I sent out to get repaired (and subsequently got lost in the mail) will magically show up at my door, repaired, so I won’t have to wear the same 2 pairs of smelly BIKEMAN shorts all the time.

Maybe the entire upstair of my house will magically get electrical power again, so I can use things like alarm clocks, house alarms and vacuum cleaners again.

Tonight is the weekly Seekonk Time Trial. Last week I did my best time ever, a 15:34. I had high hopes to go into the 15:20’s tonight.

This morning, I was getting my TT bike ready, pumping up the tires, and tightening the aero bars which had started to come loose in the previous race. Of course, being me, what do you think happened? I stripped out the damn bolt-hole on the flimsy POS by overtightening it. Now it won’t hold any weight at all without spinning around. Nice. Add another bike to the “out of commission” category (it joins the Dos Niner and my CX bike in this regard).

At least it is 95 degrees out, so I probably won’t feel like racing anyway.

Anyway, I just scored up a nice set of Ritchey one-piece TT bars on ebay, and some Ultegra barend shifters. That’ll fix it! Hope my wife doesn’t kill me though.

I’m sorry, but has it been common knowledge that Brando is deceased? I had no fuckin’ idea he kicked it back in ‘04. I’ve been living the past 2 years with the assumption he was still alive. WTF?